


"I cant do this anymore"

by Jamilton_and_Lams



Series: Angstober 2019 [1]
Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, M/M, Nhs pretended to love him, Pain, Self Loathing, XuanYu preparing for the ritual, implied self harm, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 15:13:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20950454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton_and_Lams/pseuds/Jamilton_and_Lams
Summary: A tear rolled down his cheek and he angrily bushed it away before it could ruin his makeup. I can't do this anymore, theres no other way....





	"I cant do this anymore"

Mo XuanYu took one more look at the pages on the table before him before he closed his eyes. He was doing the right thing. He needed this - they _ deserved _ this. 

There was no way for him to extract revenge himself, he couldn't get close enough before being kicked away like a dog. He rubbed an idle hand over his chest, still feeling the imprint of his cousins boot. 

A tear rolled down his cheek and he angrily bushed it away before it could ruin his makeup. _ I can't do this anymore, there's no other way...._

_Forgive me mother._

There was nothing for him here anymore. He was disgraced, cast out and unwanted by any of the family he had left and he the one person he thought he could trust had left him the pages…. Was that all he was good for? A sacrifice? 

He opened his eyes and looked back at the aray set up behind him and the knife lying on the floor. He knew the ritual off by heart. He knew what he wanted and most importantly he knew _ who _ he wanted. 

Turning to the window he took one more look at the moon, the stars, the sky… and he closed the window and turned away. 

He walked over, sat in the aray and closed his eyes once more. 

Then starting to chant, he lifted the knife.

**Author's Note:**

> So angstober is here and im going to try do this all mdzs style
> 
> Come scream at me on twitter!
> 
> https://twitter.com/bi_revolutionar


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